As parents, we watch our children grow up and we wish that we can protect them from every bad thing in life. But we also know that as parents that there are some lessons that will eventually need to be learned and all we can do is be there to comfort and be understanding. And each of these lessons will break our hearts a little bit even as we know our children get stronger.
One of these life lessons is rejection. My Logan is the sweetest, most sensitive and most sincere child you will ever meet. He is a friend to everyone. And he is always ready to make new friends. One of the ways he does this is by always saying hi to the other little kids around him. Whether we are at the park or the movie theater or anywhere else, Logan will say hi to whatever kids he sees. And he loves other little kids. He gets so excited when he sees other kids because to him, they are all new friends to play with.
But the other kids do not see it this way. Most of the time they just ignore him and his sweet little "Hi Kids!". He will wave and they will look away. Every once in a while one of the children will say hello back but not very often. At the park, Logan will "join" the kids game and will think he is playing with them even as they try to get away from him. The only time they bother playing with him is when we bring out the good soccer ball or football. And even then they don't really let them play their game until Daddy or I have to intervene and remind them that it is his ball in the first place. And it breaks my heart every time.
Rejection is not a lesson a two year old should have to learn yet. He still looks at the world with the innocence of his age and doesn't see the harshness that is out there waiting. I wish he could always keep that innocence and never has to learn the harsh reality of the world. I want to wrap him up in my arms and never let him go. I want him to stay this innocent forever and not see the rejection. I know that the day will come where he will begin to realize what is happening and I dread that future day. Will he still be my sweet, sensitive little boy or will this realization change him? All I can do is help him to understand that there are mean people out there but that he is a good person and should rise about the rejection. A tough lesson for such a young child and an even tougher lesson for Mommy to teach. I think to myself, will I have to ability to respond to his heartbreak without my heart breaking as well? Will I be even be able to handle this type of lesson?
Until this future day, all I can do is stand on the sidelines and smile while secretly my heart breaks for my sweet, innocent son. It's a Mommy's secret heartbreak and that's the cross we have to bear.
