As parents, we watch our children grow up and we wish that we can protect them from every bad thing in life. But we also know that as parents that there are some lessons that will eventually need to be learned and all we can do is be there to comfort and be understanding. And each of these lessons will break our hearts a little bit even as we know our children get stronger.
One of these life lessons is rejection. My Logan is the sweetest, most sensitive and most sincere child you will ever meet. He is a friend to everyone. And he is always ready to make new friends. One of the ways he does this is by always saying hi to the other little kids around him. Whether we are at the park or the movie theater or anywhere else, Logan will say hi to whatever kids he sees. And he loves other little kids. He gets so excited when he sees other kids because to him, they are all new friends to play with.
But the other kids do not see it this way. Most of the time they just ignore him and his sweet little "Hi Kids!". He will wave and they will look away. Every once in a while one of the children will say hello back but not very often. At the park, Logan will "join" the kids game and will think he is playing with them even as they try to get away from him. The only time they bother playing with him is when we bring out the good soccer ball or football. And even then they don't really let them play their game until Daddy or I have to intervene and remind them that it is his ball in the first place. And it breaks my heart every time.
Rejection is not a lesson a two year old should have to learn yet. He still looks at the world with the innocence of his age and doesn't see the harshness that is out there waiting. I wish he could always keep that innocence and never has to learn the harsh reality of the world. I want to wrap him up in my arms and never let him go. I want him to stay this innocent forever and not see the rejection. I know that the day will come where he will begin to realize what is happening and I dread that future day. Will he still be my sweet, sensitive little boy or will this realization change him? All I can do is help him to understand that there are mean people out there but that he is a good person and should rise about the rejection. A tough lesson for such a young child and an even tougher lesson for Mommy to teach. I think to myself, will I have to ability to respond to his heartbreak without my heart breaking as well? Will I be even be able to handle this type of lesson?
Until this future day, all I can do is stand on the sidelines and smile while secretly my heart breaks for my sweet, innocent son. It's a Mommy's secret heartbreak and that's the cross we have to bear.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
My (Useless) Poker Face
Those of you with older children understand the importance of a poker face. It's what allows us to get away with lying about the cookie fairy who will come and steal all the cookies if our children don't finish their dinner. Or the bottle fairy who takes bottles away when they become "big" kids. Or the timeless classic of "your face will freeze like that". It's the face we use when we tell them their beloved stuffed animal (who somehow missed the packing list) is just on his own vacation and that they can share stories when we get home. Or that all the people in the TV are also going night-night. It's the go-to face for all our little white mommy lies that help us get away with the things our children are too little to understand is fake.
It's also the face I attempt to use when I need to discipline my little imp of a child, Logan. And this is a very hard face to keep up when faced with an angel with devil horns. Attempting to discipline Logan is like trying to rope a wild horse. Maybe you will eventually win the battle of wills but only sometimes and ONLY when I manage to keep that poker face up. Because my devil of a child will always find a way to sneak back into my good graces with his silly little grin. I can't help it. My child is hysterical. He can make me laugh every second of the day. Even the time he drew all over the wall. Instead of being contrite since he knew he did something wrong, he decided to take the proud route and SHOW OFF his creation. How do you discipline that?! He will throw cars at me head and just when I reach my breaking point and start raising my voice, he will give me a big grin, say "Sorry Mommy" in his sweet little boy voice and then raise his face and lips for a kiss. Once again, How do you discipline that?! I was all set to throw him in timeout, upstairs in his room, by himself. And then he pulls his impish stunt like a masterful little Loki (God of Mischief) and my heart is a goner. I never have a chance.
And the worst part is, I'm surrounded by these little masters of mischief. Logan learned it from his Daddy and now both are teaching this skill of manipulating Mommy's mushy side to my youngest, Aiden. Even at 7 months old, Aiden knows exactly which smile to give to melt Mommy's heart even after he just took a bite out of my finger or threw the remote on the floor causing it to break into pieces. It's an incredible skill that apparently only takes a moment to learn for the men in my life. And Logan and Aiden are just the apprentices! Christopher has that amazing skill down pat. He knows how to completely diffuse my anger with a silly joke or a wink. And there goes my poker face.
So how do I compete with 3 mischief makers?? I can't. I'm the mommy. Therefore I need to perfect that poker face skill so that I at least have a fighting chance against the trio of terror. Either that or I need to have a little girl on my side. One can only dream lol. But until then, I will just continue to fall in love with my children even as I attempt to discipline and reprimand. Are my children little devils? Hell yea. But are they the sweetest little devils that ever walked the earth? Hell yea. And maybe, just maybe I'll learn to embrace my useless poker face.
It's also the face I attempt to use when I need to discipline my little imp of a child, Logan. And this is a very hard face to keep up when faced with an angel with devil horns. Attempting to discipline Logan is like trying to rope a wild horse. Maybe you will eventually win the battle of wills but only sometimes and ONLY when I manage to keep that poker face up. Because my devil of a child will always find a way to sneak back into my good graces with his silly little grin. I can't help it. My child is hysterical. He can make me laugh every second of the day. Even the time he drew all over the wall. Instead of being contrite since he knew he did something wrong, he decided to take the proud route and SHOW OFF his creation. How do you discipline that?! He will throw cars at me head and just when I reach my breaking point and start raising my voice, he will give me a big grin, say "Sorry Mommy" in his sweet little boy voice and then raise his face and lips for a kiss. Once again, How do you discipline that?! I was all set to throw him in timeout, upstairs in his room, by himself. And then he pulls his impish stunt like a masterful little Loki (God of Mischief) and my heart is a goner. I never have a chance.
And the worst part is, I'm surrounded by these little masters of mischief. Logan learned it from his Daddy and now both are teaching this skill of manipulating Mommy's mushy side to my youngest, Aiden. Even at 7 months old, Aiden knows exactly which smile to give to melt Mommy's heart even after he just took a bite out of my finger or threw the remote on the floor causing it to break into pieces. It's an incredible skill that apparently only takes a moment to learn for the men in my life. And Logan and Aiden are just the apprentices! Christopher has that amazing skill down pat. He knows how to completely diffuse my anger with a silly joke or a wink. And there goes my poker face.
So how do I compete with 3 mischief makers?? I can't. I'm the mommy. Therefore I need to perfect that poker face skill so that I at least have a fighting chance against the trio of terror. Either that or I need to have a little girl on my side. One can only dream lol. But until then, I will just continue to fall in love with my children even as I attempt to discipline and reprimand. Are my children little devils? Hell yea. But are they the sweetest little devils that ever walked the earth? Hell yea. And maybe, just maybe I'll learn to embrace my useless poker face.
Logan at 9 Months old.. already causing trouble
My new little trouble maker, Aiden
Classic imp face
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The Little Things in Life
As everyone knows, whether you are a parent, kid, couple, or single, it's the little things in life that get you through the day. It has never been more true for me than now.
As a working mother, it's the little things in life that annoy me and the little things in life that make me forget my annoyances. It is a balance that makes the world go 'round. My work can be satisfying and a relief from tiny hands and yet so frustrating, I'm ready to march up to my boss and say use those words Johnny Paycheck made famous. My children are the loves of my life and yet sometimes, the bane of my existance depending on how hard they are throwing a tantrum that day.
When I walk in the door from work, I feel like a bad mother because it's those darn little things that annoy me to no end. Like when Logan freaks out when I tell him "no" to a request for chocolate milk. Or when Aiden refuses to be put down so I'm walking around trying to make dinner or just simply watch tv with him on my hip. I easily get annoyed when Logan starts screaming just when I finally got Aiden to fall asleep and therefore wakes up his little brother. And it annoys me when all I want to do is sit down and relax but I come home to messes and tantrums.
But then once I'm home for a little while, I take a deep breath, and I attempt to let all the days stress wash away and I remember how amazing the little things in life are that grant me peace and calm and help me get through those extra tough days at work. Logan will get over his tantrum over chocolate milk and make me laugh with all his silly little nuances and his outlook on life. Aiden will fall asleep on my shoulder while I'm walking around with him on my hip and I feel the comforting little baby breaths and that adorable bit of drool dripping down my arm while I feel the wonderful weight of an angel against my chest. I see how concerned Logan gets and the subsequent apology and kiss on the head to his little brother after his screaming wakes Aiden up. And I overlook the mess and deal with the tantrums with a nice glass of wine.
It really is the little things in life. It is those things that I look back on each and every day and those things that I wish I could burn into my memory so I never forget. The way Logan says "I love you too, Mommy"; the way Aiden gets so excited and happy when I walk through the door and immediately reaches for me (something he does not do with anyone else); the way both of my children look up at me with complete adoration and love; the way they laugh at life. We can learn a lot from the little things in life. We can learn patience and love, we can learn control and happiness. I live each and every day looking for the little things in my children that will help me make it through the next day. Because that is what is important in life.
As a working mother, it's the little things in life that annoy me and the little things in life that make me forget my annoyances. It is a balance that makes the world go 'round. My work can be satisfying and a relief from tiny hands and yet so frustrating, I'm ready to march up to my boss and say use those words Johnny Paycheck made famous. My children are the loves of my life and yet sometimes, the bane of my existance depending on how hard they are throwing a tantrum that day.
When I walk in the door from work, I feel like a bad mother because it's those darn little things that annoy me to no end. Like when Logan freaks out when I tell him "no" to a request for chocolate milk. Or when Aiden refuses to be put down so I'm walking around trying to make dinner or just simply watch tv with him on my hip. I easily get annoyed when Logan starts screaming just when I finally got Aiden to fall asleep and therefore wakes up his little brother. And it annoys me when all I want to do is sit down and relax but I come home to messes and tantrums.
But then once I'm home for a little while, I take a deep breath, and I attempt to let all the days stress wash away and I remember how amazing the little things in life are that grant me peace and calm and help me get through those extra tough days at work. Logan will get over his tantrum over chocolate milk and make me laugh with all his silly little nuances and his outlook on life. Aiden will fall asleep on my shoulder while I'm walking around with him on my hip and I feel the comforting little baby breaths and that adorable bit of drool dripping down my arm while I feel the wonderful weight of an angel against my chest. I see how concerned Logan gets and the subsequent apology and kiss on the head to his little brother after his screaming wakes Aiden up. And I overlook the mess and deal with the tantrums with a nice glass of wine.
It really is the little things in life. It is those things that I look back on each and every day and those things that I wish I could burn into my memory so I never forget. The way Logan says "I love you too, Mommy"; the way Aiden gets so excited and happy when I walk through the door and immediately reaches for me (something he does not do with anyone else); the way both of my children look up at me with complete adoration and love; the way they laugh at life. We can learn a lot from the little things in life. We can learn patience and love, we can learn control and happiness. I live each and every day looking for the little things in my children that will help me make it through the next day. Because that is what is important in life.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Dr. Mom, MD
In the beginning, I was the ultimate first time mom. Every time Logan sniffled or coughed, I would immediately call my family doctor and freak out thinking Logan was going to die from some unknown illness that he clearly is the only child in the world to have. And 10 times out of 10, I was wrong and Logan was just fine with a case of the common cold. "Hugs and Kisses is the only cure" my very, VERY patient doctor Lois would say, a saint of a woman who didn't mind me calling her at 11pm on a Sunday.
Fast forward to now.
I have now turned into the ultimate second time mom. And with that new title, I have also received the title of "Dr. Mom, MD". The benefits of such a title? A new found sense of peace and calmness when it comes to a sick child. In a way, I kind of feel bad for Aiden BECAUSE I don't freak out every time he has the sniffles. I don't immediately call Lois the moment he coughs or cries too long. I have even waited a few days for a suspected ear infection because I knew he would have a regular check-up with her 4 days from then anyways. Lois couldn't help but share her amusement during that appointment because I had that laid back attitude that all typical second round moms share and that experience of knowing exactly what to do when certain, common illnesses arose. I knew exactly what to do when Aiden had a normal, run of the mill cold several weeks ago and just calmly gave him some Infant Tylenol to help keep any fever at bay, a little bit of Infant Benadryl to help him sleep at night and then went about our day as normal. When I saw the exzema rash developing on his skin, just like Logan's had, all I had to do was mention it to Lois at the regular doctor appointment and get the same cream we gave his older brother. Did I need instructions on how to apply? Not at all because I've been there, done that.
Of course, the problem with children is that no child is alike. And unlike his brother, Aiden actually develops fevers; a symptom I had not actually had to deal with before. Logan has yet to get a full fledged fever of over 100 degrees (knock on wood). Aiden, on the other hand, decided to throw Dr. Mom a curve ball and get a fever of 101.8. A very scary, new thing for me. So I finally caved and called in the master. Ironically, Lois told me to do exactly what I had already been doing. Apparently there is nothing actually scary about a fever as long as its manageable. Who knew? The only scary part about his most recent illness (of which the whole family is still in the process of recovering from) is that along with the fever, came a double ear infection and an amazing ability to gag (and consequently throw up) everytime any sort of medication touched his lips. An extraordinary feat that caused several days of misery and a wild goose chase looking for Tylenol suppositories or as Chris likes to call them, the ass meds. On a side note, apparently these suppositories are not sold anywhere anymore since it took me a trip to 4 different stores to finally find a generic version. But I didn't let this get me down. Aiden and I fought through it and came out better on the other side. And he has been such a trooper through all of his misery. Except for the 4pm witching hour where he turns into a tired, cranky mess, he has continued to be the happy baby we all know and love. And even when he wasn't happy, he was still such an angel to me. And with that, we have survived another illness in this house.
But the one thing I can take out of this whole ordeal is that I AM Dr. Mom, MD. I know when to chill out and remember that Aiden is only 6 months old and that the best thing I can do for him is give him "hugs and kisses" as Lois says. And that I trust my instincts well enough to know when there is a problem and when there is nothing I can do except make them comfortable. And this goes for both children. It doesn't faze me in the least bit when one has explosive diarrhea and the other has explosive vomit. It doesn't faze me to get peed on, pooped on, thrown up on, or any other bodily function-ed on. I just change what I'm wearing to even crappier clothes and venture on with the rest of the day. There is no illness that I cannot conquer.
I am Dr. Mom. Hear me roar.
Fast forward to now.
I have now turned into the ultimate second time mom. And with that new title, I have also received the title of "Dr. Mom, MD". The benefits of such a title? A new found sense of peace and calmness when it comes to a sick child. In a way, I kind of feel bad for Aiden BECAUSE I don't freak out every time he has the sniffles. I don't immediately call Lois the moment he coughs or cries too long. I have even waited a few days for a suspected ear infection because I knew he would have a regular check-up with her 4 days from then anyways. Lois couldn't help but share her amusement during that appointment because I had that laid back attitude that all typical second round moms share and that experience of knowing exactly what to do when certain, common illnesses arose. I knew exactly what to do when Aiden had a normal, run of the mill cold several weeks ago and just calmly gave him some Infant Tylenol to help keep any fever at bay, a little bit of Infant Benadryl to help him sleep at night and then went about our day as normal. When I saw the exzema rash developing on his skin, just like Logan's had, all I had to do was mention it to Lois at the regular doctor appointment and get the same cream we gave his older brother. Did I need instructions on how to apply? Not at all because I've been there, done that.
Of course, the problem with children is that no child is alike. And unlike his brother, Aiden actually develops fevers; a symptom I had not actually had to deal with before. Logan has yet to get a full fledged fever of over 100 degrees (knock on wood). Aiden, on the other hand, decided to throw Dr. Mom a curve ball and get a fever of 101.8. A very scary, new thing for me. So I finally caved and called in the master. Ironically, Lois told me to do exactly what I had already been doing. Apparently there is nothing actually scary about a fever as long as its manageable. Who knew? The only scary part about his most recent illness (of which the whole family is still in the process of recovering from) is that along with the fever, came a double ear infection and an amazing ability to gag (and consequently throw up) everytime any sort of medication touched his lips. An extraordinary feat that caused several days of misery and a wild goose chase looking for Tylenol suppositories or as Chris likes to call them, the ass meds. On a side note, apparently these suppositories are not sold anywhere anymore since it took me a trip to 4 different stores to finally find a generic version. But I didn't let this get me down. Aiden and I fought through it and came out better on the other side. And he has been such a trooper through all of his misery. Except for the 4pm witching hour where he turns into a tired, cranky mess, he has continued to be the happy baby we all know and love. And even when he wasn't happy, he was still such an angel to me. And with that, we have survived another illness in this house.
But the one thing I can take out of this whole ordeal is that I AM Dr. Mom, MD. I know when to chill out and remember that Aiden is only 6 months old and that the best thing I can do for him is give him "hugs and kisses" as Lois says. And that I trust my instincts well enough to know when there is a problem and when there is nothing I can do except make them comfortable. And this goes for both children. It doesn't faze me in the least bit when one has explosive diarrhea and the other has explosive vomit. It doesn't faze me to get peed on, pooped on, thrown up on, or any other bodily function-ed on. I just change what I'm wearing to even crappier clothes and venture on with the rest of the day. There is no illness that I cannot conquer.
I am Dr. Mom. Hear me roar.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Me Vs. THOSE MOMS
We all know THOSE moms. They are the community moms who have lived in the same town for years, run in the same circles, do their part running the school PTA and all have kids the same ages so have been in the same play/preschool group since day 1.
I am NOT one of those moms.
But I have to live in the world of these moms. So I have to stand there listening to them gossip about other women they know, parties they went to, and other teachers, etc while I wait to pick up my Logan up from class. And all I can do is be amused. These moms are insane! They are mostly stay-at-home moms who stopped working the day they had kids and haven't looked back since. They live for the gossip and the contact of these other women that are so like themselves. They seem to have nothing better to do than talk about who is wearing that or who did this. I seriously feel like I'm in high school all over again. And just like in high school, I'm the weird outsider looking in.
And they are right, I am an outsider. I'm the youngest mom in the class and apparently am the only working mother. An oddity in this day and age of two income households. I guess thats what I should expect based on my location and circumstances. I live in a better off neighborhood where most moms seem to stay home and being that I am a young mother, I will ALWAYS be the youngest or one of the youngest in the mommy class group. And I'm okay with this. I think these women live for the daily interaction that picking up the kids gives them. I don't need this because I get all the daily interaction I need being a working mother. And trust me, it's MORE than enough to survive for years to come. I just honestly never thought I would need to go through all the cliquiness that came with high school as a mom. Clearly, I was extremely naive. Work cliquiness I expected but was hoping the drama ended when it came to being a mother. Nope. It NEVER ends no matter how old you get. I'm just glad I have boys right now because I have a feeling it will be some much worse when its little girl mom's.
Do I mind being an outsider in the world of the mom cliques? Not really. It's more amusing than anything else. And besides I get to hear the gossip without actually being gossiped about. You can't beat that!
Will my children suffer because I'm not one of THOSE moms?? I strongly doubt it. Because my child is still one of the most popular boys in class even without being apart of the clique. And thats what its all about.
I am NOT one of those moms.
But I have to live in the world of these moms. So I have to stand there listening to them gossip about other women they know, parties they went to, and other teachers, etc while I wait to pick up my Logan up from class. And all I can do is be amused. These moms are insane! They are mostly stay-at-home moms who stopped working the day they had kids and haven't looked back since. They live for the gossip and the contact of these other women that are so like themselves. They seem to have nothing better to do than talk about who is wearing that or who did this. I seriously feel like I'm in high school all over again. And just like in high school, I'm the weird outsider looking in.
And they are right, I am an outsider. I'm the youngest mom in the class and apparently am the only working mother. An oddity in this day and age of two income households. I guess thats what I should expect based on my location and circumstances. I live in a better off neighborhood where most moms seem to stay home and being that I am a young mother, I will ALWAYS be the youngest or one of the youngest in the mommy class group. And I'm okay with this. I think these women live for the daily interaction that picking up the kids gives them. I don't need this because I get all the daily interaction I need being a working mother. And trust me, it's MORE than enough to survive for years to come. I just honestly never thought I would need to go through all the cliquiness that came with high school as a mom. Clearly, I was extremely naive. Work cliquiness I expected but was hoping the drama ended when it came to being a mother. Nope. It NEVER ends no matter how old you get. I'm just glad I have boys right now because I have a feeling it will be some much worse when its little girl mom's.
Do I mind being an outsider in the world of the mom cliques? Not really. It's more amusing than anything else. And besides I get to hear the gossip without actually being gossiped about. You can't beat that!
Will my children suffer because I'm not one of THOSE moms?? I strongly doubt it. Because my child is still one of the most popular boys in class even without being apart of the clique. And thats what its all about.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Growing up Crazy
I had always wondered how I would be as a parent. Would I be similiar to my parents? Would I be completely different? I think this is a question everyone thinks of before they have kids but the answer is obviously never clear until after you have them. I mean, you always think you will be one certain way or you think to yourself, "I would never let MY kids do something like that" in reference to the woman on the other side of the store letting her child scream and kick in the full throes of a toddler tantrum. Yea. You say all sorts of silly things.
My parenting style is.... well, laid back I guess. We aren't routine people at all. There is no such thing as bed times, nap times, sitting down for dinner or even a regular bath time. We play each and every day by ear. I mean, the basics get done, just not at the same time every day. My children get breakfast, lunch and dinner. They do have some fashion of clothing on. Like I said, the basics. Now some people may think that this makes us bad parents but I actually think it makes us better parents. Our children can easily adapt to changes through out the day. Nothing surprises or fazes them. Neither have a problem going someplace new, meeting new people or switching things up in simple ways like staying at Grandma's for a night. To me, that is exactly what I want for my children. The children who have set schedules with specific times for doing each thing kinda scare me. They have a hard time adjusting to new experiences whiile my children eat them up. Logan is always up for trying something new. New foods, new toys, new places, new friends. It doesn't freak him out. Maybe thats why he himself is so laid back because he is imitating Mommy and Daddy. And Aiden looks to be following in his footsteps.
It's amazing to me how many people think they will be one way as a parent and then have kids and realize that their expectations are destroyed by the arrival of said child. Children are unpredictable and you can't anticipate anything. I always find it funny when someone without kids says "Oh I will never be like that" or tell me that I'm doing something wrong. You will and I'm not. I said that I would never let my child get away with throwing temper tantrums (shot to hell every day), I said I would never co-sleep with my child (Logan still sleeps in bed with us to this day and it's starting to look like Aiden will too), I said I would never let my child watch anything but Nick Jr or Baby Einstein (as we sit here watching Hell Boy on tv). I laugh when people tell me their life plan as if children won't competely destroy it. Yea, I had a life plan too. Now I have a Logan & Aiden life plan. My life is only about planning their lives. It's not my own anymore. If you don't think it will happen to you, then my advice is to not have kids for a long time lol.
I don't think I will ever be a conventional parent. I don't stress about the silly stuff other parents worry about like "will my child be ready for kindergarten" or "is my child going to pick up bad words". I don't care about these things because yes, they will be ready for kindergarten and yes, my child will eventually pick up bad words (and I will probably be the one to teach them to him unfortunately). I don't think that its necessary to do all the things the parenting magazines say you should do like feed them organic food, teach them through silly arts & crafts every day, or not let them watch tv. Personally, I think those kind of parents are too uptight. The "My Baby Can Read" or "Baby Einstein" DVDs arent going to make your kid any smarter than mine, hate to break it to you! It just makes your child look like a robot. Parenting is hard enough without other parents looking down on you or acting like you aren't a good parent because you don't do these things.
I have noticed that the older the parents are the more uptight. I was only 22 when I had Logan and Chris was only 23. Maybe its our age that makes us so laid back. Or maybe the fact that we were both middle children in both very large, rambunctious families. Neither of us were used to having the full attention from our parents teaching us how to be laid back, go with the flow children (although I doubt my sisters will agree with that statement in reference to me lol). Who knows the reason why we are the way we are. But I consider myself I great parent regardless of the reason. And you know why? Because my children are HAPPY. They are just downright happy, loving children and it's written all over their faces each and every day. And that tells me that I'm doing my job right. Thats the real test of being a parent. It doesn't matter what kind of parent you turn out to be. All that matters is how happy and loving your children are.
My parenting style is.... well, laid back I guess. We aren't routine people at all. There is no such thing as bed times, nap times, sitting down for dinner or even a regular bath time. We play each and every day by ear. I mean, the basics get done, just not at the same time every day. My children get breakfast, lunch and dinner. They do have some fashion of clothing on. Like I said, the basics. Now some people may think that this makes us bad parents but I actually think it makes us better parents. Our children can easily adapt to changes through out the day. Nothing surprises or fazes them. Neither have a problem going someplace new, meeting new people or switching things up in simple ways like staying at Grandma's for a night. To me, that is exactly what I want for my children. The children who have set schedules with specific times for doing each thing kinda scare me. They have a hard time adjusting to new experiences whiile my children eat them up. Logan is always up for trying something new. New foods, new toys, new places, new friends. It doesn't freak him out. Maybe thats why he himself is so laid back because he is imitating Mommy and Daddy. And Aiden looks to be following in his footsteps.
It's amazing to me how many people think they will be one way as a parent and then have kids and realize that their expectations are destroyed by the arrival of said child. Children are unpredictable and you can't anticipate anything. I always find it funny when someone without kids says "Oh I will never be like that" or tell me that I'm doing something wrong. You will and I'm not. I said that I would never let my child get away with throwing temper tantrums (shot to hell every day), I said I would never co-sleep with my child (Logan still sleeps in bed with us to this day and it's starting to look like Aiden will too), I said I would never let my child watch anything but Nick Jr or Baby Einstein (as we sit here watching Hell Boy on tv). I laugh when people tell me their life plan as if children won't competely destroy it. Yea, I had a life plan too. Now I have a Logan & Aiden life plan. My life is only about planning their lives. It's not my own anymore. If you don't think it will happen to you, then my advice is to not have kids for a long time lol.
I don't think I will ever be a conventional parent. I don't stress about the silly stuff other parents worry about like "will my child be ready for kindergarten" or "is my child going to pick up bad words". I don't care about these things because yes, they will be ready for kindergarten and yes, my child will eventually pick up bad words (and I will probably be the one to teach them to him unfortunately). I don't think that its necessary to do all the things the parenting magazines say you should do like feed them organic food, teach them through silly arts & crafts every day, or not let them watch tv. Personally, I think those kind of parents are too uptight. The "My Baby Can Read" or "Baby Einstein" DVDs arent going to make your kid any smarter than mine, hate to break it to you! It just makes your child look like a robot. Parenting is hard enough without other parents looking down on you or acting like you aren't a good parent because you don't do these things.
I have noticed that the older the parents are the more uptight. I was only 22 when I had Logan and Chris was only 23. Maybe its our age that makes us so laid back. Or maybe the fact that we were both middle children in both very large, rambunctious families. Neither of us were used to having the full attention from our parents teaching us how to be laid back, go with the flow children (although I doubt my sisters will agree with that statement in reference to me lol). Who knows the reason why we are the way we are. But I consider myself I great parent regardless of the reason. And you know why? Because my children are HAPPY. They are just downright happy, loving children and it's written all over their faces each and every day. And that tells me that I'm doing my job right. Thats the real test of being a parent. It doesn't matter what kind of parent you turn out to be. All that matters is how happy and loving your children are.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
I wish I wrote this myself....
I didn't write this but I had to share it. Its one of the most hysterical (and accurate) thing I have ever read haha
Thinking of having kids? Do this 11-step program first!
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Thinking of having kids? Do this 11-step program first!
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
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