Growing up Crazy

I had always wondered how I would be as a parent. Would I be similiar to my parents? Would I be completely different? I think this is a question everyone thinks of before they have kids but the answer is obviously never clear until after you have them. I mean, you always think you will be one certain way or you think to yourself, "I would never let MY kids do something like that" in reference to the woman on the other side of the store letting her child scream and kick in the full throes of a toddler tantrum. Yea. You say all sorts of silly things.

My parenting style is.... well, laid back I guess. We aren't routine people at all. There is no such thing as bed times, nap times, sitting down for dinner or even a regular bath time. We play each and every day by ear. I mean, the basics get done, just not at the same time every day. My children get breakfast, lunch and dinner. They do have some fashion of clothing on. Like I said, the basics. Now some people may think that this makes us bad parents but I actually think it makes us better parents. Our children can easily adapt to changes through out the day. Nothing surprises or fazes them. Neither have a problem going someplace new, meeting new people or switching things up in simple ways like staying at Grandma's for a night. To me, that is exactly what I want for my children. The children who have set schedules with specific times for doing each thing kinda scare me. They have a hard time adjusting to new experiences whiile my children eat them up. Logan is always up for trying something new. New foods, new toys, new places, new friends. It doesn't freak him out. Maybe thats why he himself is so laid back because he is imitating Mommy and Daddy. And Aiden looks to be following in his footsteps.

It's amazing to me how many people think they will be one way as a parent and then have kids and realize that their expectations are destroyed by the arrival of said child. Children are unpredictable and you can't anticipate anything. I always find it funny when someone without kids says "Oh I will never be like that" or tell me that I'm doing something wrong. You will and I'm not. I said that I would never let my child get away with throwing temper tantrums (shot to hell every day), I said I would never co-sleep with my child (Logan still sleeps in bed with us to this day and it's starting to look like Aiden will too), I said I would never let my child watch anything but Nick Jr or Baby Einstein (as we sit here watching Hell Boy on tv). I laugh when people tell me their life plan as if children won't competely destroy it. Yea, I had a life plan too. Now I have a Logan & Aiden life plan. My life is only about planning their lives. It's not my own anymore. If you don't think it will happen to you, then my advice is to not have kids for a long time lol.

I don't think I will ever be a conventional parent. I don't stress about the silly stuff other parents worry about like "will my child be ready for kindergarten" or "is my child going to pick up bad words". I don't care about these things because yes, they will be ready for kindergarten and yes, my child will eventually pick up bad words (and I will probably be the one to teach them to him unfortunately). I don't think that its necessary to do all the things the parenting magazines say you should do like feed them organic food, teach them through silly arts & crafts every day, or not let them watch tv. Personally, I think those kind of parents are too uptight. The "My Baby Can Read" or "Baby Einstein" DVDs arent going to make your kid any smarter than mine, hate to break it to you! It just makes your child look like a robot. Parenting is hard enough without other parents looking down on you or acting like you aren't a good parent because you don't do these things.

I have noticed that the older the parents are the more uptight. I was only 22 when I had Logan and Chris was only 23. Maybe its our age that makes us so laid back. Or maybe the fact that we were both middle children in both very large, rambunctious families. Neither of us were used to having the full attention from our parents teaching us how to be laid back, go with the flow children (although I doubt my sisters will agree with that statement in reference to me lol). Who knows the reason why we are the way we are. But I consider myself I great parent regardless of the reason. And you know why? Because my children are HAPPY. They are just downright happy, loving children and it's written all over their faces each and every day. And that tells me that I'm doing my job right. Thats the real test of being a parent. It doesn't matter what kind of parent you turn out to be. All that matters is how happy and loving your children are.