My (Useless) Poker Face

Those of you with older children understand the importance of a poker face. It's what allows us to get away with lying about the cookie fairy who will come and steal all the cookies if our children don't finish their dinner. Or the bottle fairy who takes bottles away when they become "big" kids. Or the timeless classic of "your face will freeze like that". It's the face we use when we tell them their beloved stuffed animal (who somehow missed the packing list) is just on his own vacation and that they can share stories when we get home. Or that all the people in the TV are also going night-night. It's the go-to face for all our little white mommy lies that help us get away with the things our children are too little to understand is fake.

It's also the face I attempt to use when I need to discipline my little imp of a child, Logan. And this is a very hard face to keep up when faced with an angel with devil horns. Attempting to discipline Logan is like trying to rope a wild horse. Maybe you will eventually win the battle of wills but only sometimes and ONLY when I manage to keep that poker face up. Because my devil of a child will always find a way to sneak back into my good graces with his silly little grin. I can't help it. My child is hysterical. He can make me laugh every second of the day. Even the time he drew all over the wall. Instead of being contrite since he knew he did something wrong, he decided to take the proud route and SHOW OFF his creation. How do you discipline that?! He will throw cars at me head and just when I reach my breaking point and start raising my voice, he will give me a big grin, say "Sorry Mommy" in his sweet little boy voice and then raise his face and lips for a kiss. Once again, How do you discipline that?! I was all set to throw him in timeout, upstairs in his room, by himself. And then he pulls his impish stunt like a masterful little Loki (God of Mischief) and my heart is a goner. I never have a chance.

And the worst part is, I'm surrounded by these little masters of mischief. Logan learned it from his Daddy and now both are teaching this skill of manipulating Mommy's mushy side to my youngest, Aiden. Even at 7 months old, Aiden knows exactly which smile to give to melt Mommy's heart even after he just took a bite out of my finger or threw the remote on the floor causing it to break into pieces. It's an incredible skill that apparently only takes a moment to learn for the men in my life. And Logan and Aiden are just the apprentices! Christopher has that amazing skill down pat. He knows how to completely diffuse my anger with a silly joke or a wink. And there goes my poker face.

So how do I compete with 3 mischief makers?? I can't. I'm the mommy. Therefore I need to perfect that poker face skill so that I at least have a fighting chance against the trio of terror. Either that or I need to have a little girl on my side. One can only dream lol. But until then, I will just continue to fall in love with my children even as I attempt to discipline and reprimand. Are my children little devils? Hell yea. But are they the sweetest little devils that ever walked the earth? Hell yea. And maybe, just maybe I'll learn to embrace my useless poker face.

Logan at 9 Months old.. already causing trouble

My new little trouble maker, Aiden

Classic imp face